Well, its about friggin time!
After a string of attacks on school children in the Kyoto area by crazed perverts with knives (who probably practiced first on nearby shrubbery- I mean lets face it, these guys' cheese has definitely slid off thier crackers), the Kyoto board of education has finally decided to be proactive and has come up with a FANTASTIC plan to prevent these attackers from ever nearly harming another school child again.
The incredible idea: A stick! Now now, don't shrug it off just yet. Its not just any stick. This is a stick meticulously constructed of genuine PVC with an American Football goal looking thing on one end, designed to stave off evil until help arrives.
The genius here is in its simplicity folks. Simplicity and the inherent fear invoking power of sticks. These miniature football goals, conveniently located in the shokuinshitsu, or teachers room at every school (of course the very place a school invader is least likely to end up), are desigend to allow the small children to hold off the lunatic invaders at sticks length until help arrives in the form of equally loony police officers, who are, we can only assume, armed with even longer sticks, and possibly some kind of food to distract the invaders while some even more loony inventor designs a trap in which to catch the unsuspecting victim as he feeds. One step at a time here folks, one step at a time.

Useless crime fighting paraphenalia, you ask? Not at this price! We were given a wonderful demonstration by the Kyoto Sensei himself, dressed, like all evil men, in a black ski mask (these kids will be terrified if they ever incidentally stumble upon a ski-jo). Afterwards, I was given the inside scoop on the incredible bargain these schools are getting.
Each stick, which could easily be constructed with items in most peoples' back yards for about 15 dollars, cost the schools only 3 man yen, roughly 300 bucks a pop. Now thats what I call a bargain. Deeeeeeeee-liscious! And, fortunately for the students, (of which roughly half are strong enough to even lift the stick), each school is required to have at least two or three, which are very strategically placed in the same inaccessible corner at every school.
If you don't believe me, Kyoto ALTs, check your shokuinshitsus. That thing you have oft seen and never grasped the meaning of? Yup, thats "the stick."
So hats off to you Japan! When my friends suggest that you might be involved in frittering away the education budget on useless junk, I'll just disagree, and think of your ingenious crime-fighting technology!
Apparently its called a "Thorn Crotch." Check this article out from
Boing Boing.